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Yesterday was Grandpa's 80th birthday party in Minnetonka. I had fun. My cousin was there that I have not seen since 4th grade, along with her parents. It was slightly awkward of course, but fun nontheless. Also, my second cousins(I think that's the relation) were there with their parents and we realized that Leslie's roommate at Duluth next year is my former principal's daughter from Wilson Elementary School in Owatonna. Small world, funny. Grandpa looked really happy to have everyone there and he kept saying it was one of the best birthdays ever. I get so emotional seeing him lately just thinking that he might not be around for much longer. I will miss him so much when he does pass away some day. He is the sweetest, most kind hearted grandpa ever. I will miss him telling stories and laughing, and how he gets food all over his face when he eats, and how you have to talk really loud when you talk to him. He's the best, I love him very much. It also got me thinking to what it will be like to be that old someday, and be a grandma and such. Wouldn't it be weird to have all of these memories from late 1900's through then and the people I'm telling stories to will hardly even be able to imagine what life was like "back then". I hope that made sense.

Friday night I went home because I had the night open and was bored. Turns out I was stilled bored there too and Laura and I ended up going to bed around 9:30pm. I woke up during the huge thunderstorm, she didn't though. I was happy for that. I guess Shannon finally broke up with her douche boyfriend. I hope she's not feeling too sad, but he was just an idiot so I am happy about it.

I feel like I have nothing to blog about even though it seems like my mind has been racing lately. I guess I should mention that I STILL haven't heard from Owatonna. It makes me SO MAD! They said they would be figuring things out "early August", WELL now if they call me Monday that will be August 10th, cmon and that's IF they call me Monday. I left a message on the HR ladie's voicemail and she didn't call me back. I find that so rude. Even if she didn't have any answers she could call me and tell me that. This is my life people. I have 3 weeks until school would start for teachers and I have no fucking clue what is happening. Where am I going to live? When will I move? How am I supposed to prepare for what comes next? It makes me want to cry, really. I am so frustrated about it. I think I might call Sue later today because she seems to be the only pushy one who can get things done around there.

Also, I don't like staying at Becky's, not because it's not nice or because of her, it's just that it doesn't feel like my place or "home". I haven't felt like I had a real home since I left Lakeville. I had my routine, my things where I wanted them, etc. and it makes me miss that place. And now Rick is here too, so we have 4 people in this 2 bedroom apartment for the weekend. I just feel so lost in many ways. At the same time, I also feel optimistic about "starting over" in other parts of my life. It feels nice to do what I want to do when I want to do it. I don't feel like I have a cloud over my head that makes me thinks twice about everything I do. I just cannot wait until I know where I will be next year, and I can't wait to get into a good eating/exercise/work routine. I can't wait to see what next year will bring, like if I'll make new friends and all that. All I know is, I am sick of HIH and living in EC at places where I feel welcome but not at home.

I am frustrated with the weather that we've had this summer. I wish I was more tan, but everytime I have the chance to be in the sun it gets cloudy, cold, and rainy. Now, it may be friggin hot outside, but it's cloudy and humid. We've just had bad weather this summer. In many ways, this summer has been a letdown, it's been uneventful, and blah. Time has passed, but nothing too great has happened. Well, I guess that's a little too negative. I had a good birthday, a few goods nights at BJ's, an okay time in Chicago(while it wasn't all I thought it would be it was still fun), Grandpa's party, and many good nights with my sisters and sega. I have also come out of the summer with extra money, and have been able to make enough money to pay things off and have plenty for a deposit/rent in a place for fall.

I have taken a depressing turn in this blog and trying to be positive isn't working so I guess I will just end it now. Have a great rest of the weekend and I will hopefully be in a lighter mood next time.